hmatt's blog

Today I was reading “Self-Management for actors”and there was a section about the ‘actor funk’. It talked about how we all experience that moment when we question everything.. but the author suggests that we “wallow in it”. The thought is that we can use this emotion in scenes.. How true though- we only experience the full of our life if we can measure things against other benchmarks of emotion.

A few years ago I was dating this girl and after we broke up I decided to write a play. In it I said a lot of things I had wished I had said and things we may have each been thinking. It was very cathartic actually. I wish I knew how to write songs, it seems like people have better attention spans for such things. Isn’t there something about how all songs (or most of them) have to do with love. So true. Although, this came to me as I was listening to “love songs on the coast”.

Anyway, I kind of miss that high emotionally charged moment you have when you are with someone who really gets you, someone you have really opened up to- or someone you are getting to know. Relationships are so fascinating.

A friend of mine told me that I have been guarded, and this was a while ago. Then recently someone asked what I was thinking. Have I put on such a guard that no one knows what I’m thinking! Yikes!

Anyway, this post was supposed to be all about benchmarks in life- Another book I read recently (seriously- I’ve had my kindle read me so many books so far, utterly amazing) this one was titled “Moonwalking with Einstein” and it was all about memory and how we should all strive to make memories because they create benchmarks so we know where we’ve been.

I had this resolve to start collecting such benchmarks aka making memories, and I was all set, but I don’t think I’ve really done all that much. Well, my excuse for the past month has been that I have been taking an acting class, but I start up again for a two-month stretch starting this Sunday! Make memories happen!

Anyway, I know I have been living life too safe lately. I’d like to start have things happening again–

Oh, and then my Tuesday acting teacher said that I, and another girl, were quiet, and we didn’t have a bunch of disruptive drama surrounding us like certain classmates. Then later we were told by a director (and the teacher) that it is best to keep to one’s self and do your job instead of fueling the antics of those certain actors that make everything about them.. sound advice, but I know there’s got to be a line to explore there. How does one do the work, but be memorable and have fun? Are they opposite spectrums? Hmm..

Right, benchmarks.

Make them.

Do them.

Explore them.

And appreciate all things happening while in them.

At least one’s heartbreak, contemplation, or high emotion makes good art! = )